It Finished Where it all Started

Ellie & Meg on the boat with me

I've been back at work for 4 months now and it's always been on my mind that I have not kept my cult following (well follower) up to date with the closing stages of my Long Leave. So here goes.

I guess reality started to dawn that my long leave wouldn't go on for ever about four weeks before I was due to go back to work. I'd had a taste of freedom and now in a cruel twist of fate,  I had to return to the shackles of 9-5, train journeys and corporate speak - just on the subject of corporate speak, my favourite expressions since I have returned to work have been:-


Socialise - dictionary definition " mix socially with others" . Corporate speak "how are we going to circulate this presentation to other people. It threw me for a minute when after presenting to a group and asking if there were any questions, someone said, " how are you proposing to socialise this pack". I had that moment where I knew I'd heard the question, but I hadn't got a clue what they were talking about. My face must have said it all and luckily someone else in the meeting, who had obviously not been in the real world for 7 months understood this evolution of the English language and suggested we email to people.

Reach Out - dictionary definition "to extend ones grasp outward". Corporate speak "I will communicate with this person". I came across this in another meeting (yes, that is what I do all day), when someone was asked about follow on actions, they said "I will reach out to Sam". I had that moment again where I couldn't reconcile the picture in my head of this person grabbing Sam on the shoulder and what relevance this had to what they should be doing. But all became clear when an email was sent a couple of hours after the meeting finished.

These two expressions have gone into my corporate speak dictionary alongside the classics of 'what's the burning platform' = what's the reason for doing this, and I'll take that on board = thank you for your feedback, but I think its a load of b*****ks. When I'm having a bad day, I amuse myself by trying to get as many of these expressions into my conversations or documents I'm writing as possible, try it, its good fun. Leave a comment and let me know what your favourite corporate speak expressions.

I am digressing already, let me get back to the 'matter at hand' 'to the point', the end of my long leave came all too soon, I'd had a fantastic time and done so much, the fact of the matter was that I just didn't want to go back to work, but hang on a minute I'd still got 4 weeks left. If someone at work said go and take 4 weeks off, you'd snap their right arm off, its all relative. I still had a full agenda, the boys narrow boat trip, flooring to be laid, and the Sheffield beer festival.

The Boat Trip

Preparing the lock

The narrow boat trip is always something to look forward to. Last year I'd missed the most spectacular part of the trip as Bob misjudged his leap onto an adjacent boat and ended up going for a fully clothed, unplanned dip in the ice cold canal water. As is usual these days I enquired about the condition of his phone before I asked him about his health, as it turned out the former was not in a good place and had to be replaced but Bob made a full recovery even though "hypothermia" and "close to death" were mentioned. According to Neil and Steve it was just very funny!

We didn't have any man over board situations this year which is amazing considering the amount of alcohol consumed, dark narrow tow paths with multiple tripping hazards and gaps between the bank and the moored boat.

We'd taken plenty of 'supplies' to keep us going as we battled our way through the Oxford, Coventry and Ashby canals. This mainly consisted of a polypin of real ale (Brampton Golden Bud) bottles of wine and beer, you just never knew if we might be stranded and publess in the middle of nowhere.

Life at walking pace

A typical day was cooked breakfast, followed by coffee and buns around 10:30 and then a couple of pints on the boat before finding a good pub for a further couple of beers at lunch time. Back to the boat for pork pie or ham sandwiches and a beer and then head to our overnight mooring destination with maybe a top up on the way. We manage a few beers in our selected evening pubs and then back to the boat for a meal with a bottle of red. Its a hard and torturous routine and we put ourselves through it every year!

Although I would drop into to a drunken stupor most nights I'd sleep until about 3am and then wake up thinking about that looming return to work (it's amazing what goes through your mind in the early hours). Now usually at this point I'd moan about Bobs selection box of grunting and snoring keeping me awake but I think I'd become immune on our European adventure

No pot of gold found!

Captain Neil had managed to plan two stops at one of our favourite real ale destination of Rugby. Our top real ale pubs are, the Vicoria Merchants Inn and 7 Stars all definitely worth  a visit if you love your real ale.  Our most disappointing stop was Stoke Golding a village of three pubs, including a brewery tap. After battling wind and rain as we climbed the long and winding road to the village, we found 2 pubs shut and the open one with no real ale. So we trudged back to the boat where due to Steve's emergency contingency planning, we had the polypin and various other 'supplies' to keep us going.

It was a great week but I was glad to get home and try to return to some normal sleeping patterns and let my liver have a breather.

I Ached in Places I Didn't Know Existed!

Bob doing the tricky bits

Bob came down to Baston a couple of weeks later to help me lay a laminate floor. Even though I say so myself I think we did a pretty good job. We had a couple of false starts as we tried to work out which was the left hand corner of the room and which way round the boards should go (not which is the top and bottom you understand, even we got that, but how the tongue and locking mechanism worked). I guess with hindsight we should have read the instructions properly, but there's no skill in doing that!

The finished floor - looks good!

After laying a couple of packs of boards and then taking them up and relaying them the right way round, there was no stopping us. It does take it out on the old knees and leg muscles though, by the end of day 2 we were like two old bow leg cowboys hobbling around. We laid 15 packs of laminate flooring and relaid some existing flooring in the lobby. It made a massive difference to the kitchen and made it feel like home again.

Sheffield Beer Festival

My penultimate weekend was the Sheffield beer festival. I'd not visited this festival before, and the Kelham Island museum location was ideal. Definitely one to add to the annual beer festival calendar.  Kelham Island and surrounding area is famous in Sheffield for the choice of real ale pubs, and we finished the day in one of my favourites the Wellington

Buying the Train Ticket

When the time came to buy my train ticket, this signalled the end of my long leave, thoughts of hours sat on trains back and forth to London and the absurd cost of doing this - what I could do with this money. We'd done a bit more than we planned with the building work and consequently spent a bit more than we anticipated, That breakfast bar and the Karndean flooring would have to wait I wistfully thought as I handed my credit card over to the less than grateful East Coast trains representative. 

Rant number two - what is it about train companies and customer service. You could buy a new small car every year with the cost of my train ticket, with any other commercial company I'd be a valued customer, but not with East Coast and I suspect other train companies - stand in the queue, wait until you are called, "put your card in the machine mate", "next". I might as well have just bought a return to Stamford for £8.95. Knowing your customers and understanding their needs, East Coast just don't get it and I've no expectations that it will improve once Virgin take over the franchise. Ok that's my moaning over!

Its been Great

I had a fantastic long leave and thank you to everybody that has shared it with me. 

The last time England won 

First Englishmen since Bobby Moore
to touch the World Cup

The European holiday was brilliant, It was something I would have never done on my own and it was great to share it with Bob. Even though England didn't win the World Cup (and we really thought they would when we set off - no, really!), it was great to experience watching football in so many different countries. We met so many nice people, and learnt that beer and football is a common language enjoyed by so many. We survived the bull run in Pamplona and were the oldest and grumpiest rockers at the BBK music festival in Bilbao. People often ask which was the best bit, I don't think there was one moment but so many special memories, the stadium tours, midsummer night in Barca, the Opera in Venice, and the Jazz festival in Düsseldorf. I definitely want to do something like this again, roll on Russia 2018!

Sunset on the bayside

My beautiful girls

Our family holiday in Florida was amazing. We stayed in some picturesque locations and the journey down the Keys to Key West is something that will last in my memory. 

It was special to have some quality family time before Ellie and Meg decide they want to go and do their own thing without the parents hanging on. The scuba diving and swimming with dolphins are good memories and renewing our acquaintance with Mickey Mouse and Co was good fun.

Our meal out at the Peacock in Rowsley, with such good friends, all the beer festivals, the CAMRA AGM in Scarborough, the bread making course and beer brewing and of course the building work. There was a moment in time with the building work when I really thought what on earth are we doing and why. But now with a bit of perspective, I realise that it has, as planned, made a great space and as we gradually finish off the work inside and complete the new front garden, it will really make the house special.

The eagle eyed amongst you will notice that I didn't complete my coast to coast cycle ride, I was hoping to do this with my brother, but as he thought he could do it in 2 days over a weekend, and I thought I might struggle to complete it in a week, we decided to wait until I'd manned up a bit. Its still on the to do list so keep watching this space.

I will continue to complete my blog to keep you abreast of life in the Riley household and my interests in real ale and football. I have already done the Chest Fest (Chesterfield Real Ale festival, that is, I know what you were thinking!), and there are several more beer festivals planned for this year. I have tickets for the League Cup Final tomorrow between Spurs and Chelsea and plan to get to some more Wednesday matches. So keep following the blog anything could happen. I might do a bit of jiggery pokery to the blog - a technical expression for I'm planning to change the blog but not sure how to do it. 

It All Finished In The White Horse

My Long Leave finished with a bang. There was a spectacular firework display in the village. How decent of them to mark such an auspicious occasion in this way I thought, but as Alison pointed out, "you do realise its the village bonfire event don't you?" Oh well it was a nice thought, so rather then me delivering my quickly planned thank you speech to the village we reverted to plan A - a drink in the place where it all started. I couldn't think if a more special way to end such a special time of my life than with Alison, Ellie, and Meg. Cheers.