These are no Ordinary Fish & Chips they are ...

Friday and the end of our annual narrowboat adventure, in some ways it comes as a bit of a relief, the thought of returning home to a comfy bed and eating and drinking normally (you will have probably spotted that we have slightly overindulged on food and drink). I can't wait to see Oscar the dog and check up on the chickens, oh and of course it goes without saying seeing my wife and daughters. I will miss the camaraderie, the boys chat, the beer and the slower pace of life on the boat; but it's not over until the fat lady sings and we still have lots to do.

Lock Miles & Gourmet Food?

Thursday morning was beautiful, cold but with the sunshine starting to break through the trees. So following breakfast we set off on our journey returning to Stone, leaving the Staffs & Worcs canal and back onto the Trent & Mersey.

There was a bit of a debate between Captain Neil and Sous Chef/Commander Stevie, about how long the journey would take. The best way to calculate distance and time on the canals is to use Nicholson's Guide, which shows you standard mile markers and the locks you have to pass through. Added together these give you lock miles, eg if the journey was 12 miles and you pass through 3  locks then you are travelling 15 lock miles. Divide this by 3 (mph) and it tells you how long your journey will take, in this example 15 lock miles = 5 hours. The calculation for today indicated 7 hours but Captain Neil was clearly expecting us to get a spurt on (within the speed limits of the canal of course) predicting 6 hours. Well the proof will be in the arrival time as they say. I'll let you know who was closest.

Shore Leave & The Great Oatcake Grab

Wednesday morning and we awoke to rain, nothing too heavy, the drizzly stuff, you know, wet rain. Our day's schedule is to turn the boat around just beyond our overnight mooring in Penkridge, then head back to Stafford, approx a 3 hour journey. The Captain has granted the crew shore leave for the day, to explore the pubs of Stafford. We have visited Stafford before and have some favourites to revisit. 

Yesterday, by October standards was a very busy day on the canal, it might have been the sunshine that brought all the fair weather boaters out, but this meant that we had a few delays at the several locks we passed through. Although we helped several people to fill and empty the locks, the knock on effect was that we lost time against our schedule and we had to miss our planned stop at the Bod in Baswich. We did however make it to Penkridge in good time and had a few beers in the Littleton Arms, before returning back to the boat for meatballs in goulash sauce and some red wine.

Canal Etiquette & The Racing Line

It's Tuesday morning, following some overnight rain, we are told the temperature today will rise to a balmy 16 degrees, so I am going to have to dig out my shorts ready for the heat of the day. 

We adapted and fine tuned our plans yesterday following our late afternoon drinks in the Vine Pub and Brewery at Rugeley (an Oasis of real ale in an otherwise barren desert) . The debate was whether to continue on the Trent & Mersey to Burton or head back to Great Haywood and hang a left onto the Staffordshire & Worcestershire canal towards Stafford. After some research into the best available pubs, we dropped across a Titanic Cafe/Pub, called the Bod, near Baswich, which we would pass just around lunch time if we went on the Staffs & Worcs canal. So that was it, decision made, we were Stafford bound with our planned overnight stop, just beyond Stafford at Penkridge, where there appears to be enough pubs to keep us going tonight.

A Captain, a Sous Chef and Roger the Cabin Boy

We awoke Monday morning to a lovely still day, with the rising sun burning off the low lying mist that floated above the canal and across the adjoining fields. We had travelled down the Trent & Mersey canal from Stone to our overnight mooring in Weston and our destination pub the Saracens Head. The mooring was noticeably quieter than the busy towpath in Stone with just the occasional dog walker passing alongside the boat. 

After turning the boat round on Sunday, we moored up again close to the centre of Stone and called into a couple of pubs at lunchtime. One of the pubs we visited was a Titanic pub called The Royal Exchange. This got me wondering why Titanic beers are so prevalent in this area, so here is a little fact for you. Captain Smith of the Titanic (full steam ahead and ignore that lump of ice) fame, originated from Stoke, hence the Titanic brewery is based there. 

Our plan for today is to continue along the Trent & Mersey to get to the Vine Inn Pub and Brewery at Rugeley for lunch time and discuss over a couple of beers whether to continue along the Trent & Mersey or head back to Great Haywood and take the Staffordshire & Worcestershire canal. So after a full English breakfast we set off for our day's adventure, with the added trepidation of not quite knowing where we were going to end the day, but more importantly if there would be a pub, open and waiting for us.

4 Men 1 Boat and a Tube of Mastic

It's an annual event that takes place anytime between October and December and considering the amount of alcohol that is consumed, the close proximity of water and the use of mechanical winding gear, the fact that it usually passes without incident feels close to being involved with a supernatural event. I am of course referring to the annual boys narrow boat trip. 

This year the boat is moored at Aston Marina near Stone in Staffordshire and although I believe we have a general idea of the route we are going to take, the direction of travel is pretty much determined by the availability of pubs en route.

The Chief Mourner

I do like a bit of Take That, I wouldn't say I was their biggest fan but, they are, so I'm told, national treasures and of course their standing went up somewhat when they reformed with Robbie (but bizarrely not Jason), for a lock down performance on the Meerkat Music channel. As a family we decided we were all ready for a bit of popular culture, so we sat down to spend our evening singing along (well humming as I didn't know most of the words), glass in hand with the boys. After about 45 minutes, I was starting to get a bit agitated and I think everyone else was slightly puzzled , as we had only seen one song with Gary and Robbie, and the rest was just Take That through the years. I was muttering something along the lines of what a scam, when

Chicken Run

It's amazing how quickly we all adapt to the new temporary norms of staying at home and social distancing, but it is incredably frustrating, I've never had so much time on my hands but been so limited to what I can actually do. Still the days are passing quickly and I'm making progress working through my list of 'films I've never quite understood', the garden has never looked so tidy and I'm told I'm 'Marie Kondoing' my garage. I've no idea what that means, but I'm clearing out the crap and the plan is to be able to find my tools without tripping over something, or something falling on top of me. It had got so bad in the garage that it had almost become a no go zone, with even Oscar the Dog refusing to risk life and limb after a falling ladder narrowly missed him on his last patrol around the perimeter.

If IKEA Owned Supermarkets .....

For those that have been following my coronacrisis blog the good news is that sleeping arrangements are back to normal and Oscar the Dog despite lots of huffing and puffing is back in his own bed. Nights are certainly more restful, although I sometimes still hear the ghostly creak of floor boards as he takes himself off for a drink of water halfway through the night.

At this stage Borisolation isn't going too bad for me personally, in fact there are some significant advantages. I am fortunate that I can work from home, which means there are no 5:30am starts and no 2 hour each way commute into London and back. I wake up naturally, head downstairs, take Oscar for a walk, coffee and toast then start working in the study. If you have to work it's about as perfect as you can get. I must admit though my personal hygiene standards have gone out of the window. I can go several days without having a shower or a shave, it's just that at this stage, I've not managed to build it into my new routine. It's only when my wife starts opening windows and Oscar takes one sniff then walks away that I think maybe I need to make time to freshen up.

Thurlby-Lound-Toft-Manthorpe-Thurlby

Description	Distance	7.2 miles
This walk crosses fields, a golf course and with some road walking as well. If you thought Lincolnshire was flat, then you are in for a surprise as this walk is based around Swallow Hill, hardly a mountain but for us Lincolnshire people it is a novelty. The path is clearly way marked when crossing fields.	Time	2 Hours 20 mins
	Difficulty	Leisurely
	Map Link	Local 10

The walk starts in Water Lane which is off Northorpe Lane in Thurlby. Walk up Water Lane and turn right along the track.(You are crossing over the disused Essendine and Sleaford railway line, although it's not particularly evident here you can walk along stretches of this line if you follow Wood Lane towards Bourne)

Follow this track until you come into an open field. Continue walking in the same direction, towards a line of trees, and cross over a small plank bridge and then over a second plank bridge. When you reach a track turn left.

If You Can't Go To The Pub ......

Bring the pub to you 

Well, since my last blog post I've fully recovered from what I believe was Coronavirus. It's difficult to know for certain that I've had the virus, as there is no routine testing, but I've pretty much followed the sequence of expected symptoms apart from a persistent cough. It took until day 5 for me to feel back to my usual self, most of the symptoms passed within the first 3 days, but I was just left feeling very tired, I don't think I've slept so much or so well for a long time.

My recovery was confirmed by my wife who said "you must be feeling better you are back to your belligerent and cantankerous self", now I'd like to think this was an expression of endearment rather than any personal feedback, but if not at least Oscar the Dog appears happy to see me up and about especially as his walk schedule is now back on track.

The Isolation Survival Pack

I knew Thursday wasn't going to be a great day when I managed to trip up in the car park and fall full length, as I was rushing to get the train to work. For a moment or two I was like a beached whale, but I managed to bounce back up. Why is it even at 6:30 in a morning there is always someone there watching, "are you all right?", "yes, yes I'm fine thank you", although I'm not quite sure where the follow on line came from, "I must still be pissed from last night" I said as I picked up my car keys, and brushed myself down, they gave me an odd look and disappeared.

Unauthorised Blog - Epilogue

The girls backpacking adventure around Australia and the Far East meant that for the first time ever we were unable to celebrate Christmas together as a family. The girls spent Christmas Day in Brisbane and although we were able to use the wonders of modern technology to video chat, it can't quite replace the physical togetherness and chaos of a typical Christmas Day.

Dads Unauthorised Travel Blog - the Final Episode

Well it only feels like two minutes since we were saying our goodbyes at the airport as the girls set off on their backpacking adventure. But all good things must come to an end (or money can only stretch so far) and after four months travelling up the East coast of Australia, Thailand, Singapore and Vietnam, visiting some absolutely  stunning places they have decided to hang up their backpacks (for now) and bring their washing home.To be honest I've lost track of everywhere they've visited, but what an experience it's been for them and it's certainly opened my eyes to visiting some countries that previously I just wouldn't have considered.

Monkey Business

Look I'm no football expert, never claimed to be, but I do have a passion for Sheffield Wednesday. As fans we only need to have a bad run and we are doomed, win a couple and we are world beaters. But as managers come and go the one thing that puzzles us all, is that without a doubt for several years now the club and this core squad of players have been under achieving. It very much feels to me that this season both in the boardroom and on the pitch things are coming to a head.

Dads Unauthorised Travel Blog - The Beach Body

Well the girls are moving at a fair pace, since my last blog they have moved from Bali, to Singapore - Singapore Slings in Raffles, Thailand - Phuket, Phi Phi Island, Koh Samui, Bangkok (an experience) and they are now in Vietnam. Hanoi was a shock to the system, as it was cold and damp, but having bought a couple of fleeces they went on a trip to a Home Stay in Sa Pa, with long treks through the rice fields. I have all on keeping up with where they are. They have sent some beautiful photos and they are having a fantastic time, although the money must be running low as there is talk of a mid March return home.

Greatford - Braceborough - Greatford

Walk Description	Distance	6.3 miles
A circular walk that covers the beautiful countryside between Greatford and Braceborough. Muddy in wet weather as the majority of the walk is across fields, with a little bit of road walking as you enter Braceborough. There are lots of way markers along the path	Time	2 hours 5 mins
	Steps
	Difficulty	Leisurely
	Map Link	Local 9

(1) Woodlands 

The walk starts on Greatford Gardens, which is off Carlby Road in Greatford. Walk down Greatford Gardens, pass through some gates with a 'Woodlands' name plate (1) (the footpath passes through a private garden). As you pass the final house on the right you will see a Public Footpath sign that sends you down a path on the right and then over a bridge, After crossing the bridge turn left and walk along a path in a lightly wooded area.

Celibate for Lent?

I don't know about anyone else but I'm starting to get confused about what I should and shouldn't be doing each month. In January I'm urged to stay dry and become Vegan, in October I have to stay sober and in November I have to grow a moustache. The problem for me is I love eating meat and cheese, I enjoy a beer and there is as much chance of me growing facial hair and looking like Magnum P.I or Dick Strawbridge as there is of winning the lottery. In fact things could only get worse, if someone announces a Let's Go Celibate for Lent campaign (Celibent).