4 Men 1 Boat and a Tube of Mastic

It's an annual event that takes place anytime between October and December and considering the amount of alcohol that is consumed, the close proximity of water and the use of mechanical winding gear, the fact that it usually passes without incident feels close to being involved with a supernatural event. I am of course referring to the annual boys narrow boat trip. 

This year the boat is moored at Aston Marina near Stone in Staffordshire and although I believe we have a general idea of the route we are going to take, the direction of travel is pretty much determined by the availability of pubs en route.

There are three rituals that have to be observed once we are on the boat, it happens every year without exception. The first is through necessity, if we didn't do it myself and Bob would have nowhere to sleep. So we have to assemble the front cabin bed. Now I suspect that Jasper Conran or the founders of IKEA were not involved in the designing of the good ship Rowington. It is a task best undertaken sober. You have to balance a board on two ledges between two seats. How no one has ever lost a finger or trapped their nuts,  doing this is a total mystery. This year it was my turn to assemble the bed, after a few failed attempts and the appropriate level of cursing, whilst trying to avoid doing the splits between the two seats, the board dropped into place and the bed was ready to assemble. Just for the inquisitive amongst you, the sleeping arrangements are top to tail, just in case either of us have any amorous urges during the night. 

We then have the ritual of TV set up, after a day of hard work navigating the canals with more than a few beers inside us, we moor up raise the TV aerial and hope for the best, ie that we get some form of signal. If not it means we have to watch a movie from the Rowington DVD collection, which includes a selection of 80's and 90's classics, or facing the prospect of having no TV and making small talk (Miss Congeniality usually wins) The challenge is that when you look behind the TV there are more wires than a Google data centre. Last night we just couldn't get the TV to work, but as with most things in life the answer is go to the pub and have another go when you get back. Sure enough after a bit more beer, hey presto we ended up with over a hundred TV channels, but as with most people all we wanted with our Coq au Vin, garlic bread (yes that is bread with garlic!) and red wine was BBC1, Strictly Come Dancing, with a touch of Claudia, it doesn't take much to make us happy. 

Our third ritual is more an observed obsession than a necessity, and that is that Captain Neil usually has to get his mastic gun out (this is not a euphemism) and start to seal the kitchen sink or failing that something in the bathroom. However after the best part of 2 hours preparation, removing the, in my opinion pretty sound existing sealant and putting the masking tape in place, Captain Mastic decide that the tube of sealant he had brought on the boat wasn't going to work, so we needed a trip to B&M to buy a fresh tube.

So with the bed assembled, Claudia on TV and a sealed sink that prevented a flow of water from sinking the boat whilst washing the pots, we are all set for a cracking holiday. We travelled from Aston Marina to Stone and called in at the Borehole pub, for a few beers. It is all very bizarre in Covid times but after a couple outside, which reminded me of being in Spain, less the Cicadas and someone actually serving you drinks rather than having to bang on the window if you want another beer, we moved to a lovely spot inside the pub next to the fire.

Tomorrow I'll give you some insight into life on a narrow boat, why is it called a narrow boat, why you need to be fully clothed next to the log  burner and why it's so important to be up  first with only one toilet onboard.

If you have enjoyed reading this blog you can explore the full Narrow Boat Adventure series here