A Chicken, A Dog and A Hosepipe What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Well it's been a while since my last blog, but nothing much has changed, who knew a year on and we'd still be doing the 4 point check every time we leave the house, keys, phone, wallet and of course mask - 'has anyone seen my mask' was a question that I don't think I'd uttered until about a year ago, now it's one of my top three most frequently asked lock down questions. Not that anyone of course wants to borrow my mask, (unlike the car keys or my credit cards), it's more a matter of principle and a mental agility test to see if i can remember what I was wearing the last time I stepped out of the house. This usually results in a hunt through the pockets of clothes that have been thrown into the washing machine before I just give up and put on a disposable mask on instead. 

What are your other top questions I hear you ask, well of course they are, what's for tea? and what are we watching tonight? The latter leading to various family disputes, we just have too much choice, I mean where do you start, Freeview, Netflix, Prime, Now TV, Apple TV, Disney+ you could spend all evening just going through the guides. When someone actually recommends a must watch series to me, it's almost a relief, I just want to give them a hug (well if I could) and whether it's your thing or not, you just stick with it because once it's ended you are back in the void of having to find a new series. Some days we just take the easy option and watch a repeat of Would I Lie to You (I don't need to guess truth or lie anymore, believe me I know!) or Not Going Out on Dave and if that fails in the depths of Freeview you can usually find an old Place in the Sun or the Repair Shop. 

Life pretty much continues as before with both myself and Mrs Riley working from home. Oscar the Dog usually follows me about everywhere and if I'm not tripping over the dog, I'm usually trying to avoid going head first over a bloody tennis ball that Oscar has strategically left at the top of the stairs, at the side of my chair or next to the bed. That middle of the night toilet dash is like trying to navigate through a minefield in the dark. In the new world of video calls Oscar's hearing has become finally tuned to my voice inflections towards the end of a call, where he looks up expectantly at the end of every meeting, with those big eyes saying are we off for a walk? As I jump on to the next meeting, his head sinks back down and this is usually followed by 30 seconds of huffing and puffing, which I then have to explain to people on the call is not coming from me.

The end of the working day usually means a beer (or two) and a cooking experiment that I thought was a great idea when I watched James Martin making it on Saturday morning, it all looks so easy. I forget that he has an army of researches, recipe prep teams and a tidy up crew to clear the mess away. In our house this usually means some cursing because I've forgotten to order that vital ingredient, a dash to Lidl, and by the time I've finished the kitchen resembles a scene from a disaster movie, with pots, saucepans, left over ingredients and spillages everywhere. I have to explain to Mrs Riley most evenings that you can't make an omelette without breaking some eggs! The food usually tastes pretty good though.

I've decided that a bit like doing DIY, I need to have the right tools for the job to help when making my culinary delights. So I've treated myself to a new food processor and blender. To be honest here, this was partly because when making bread, kneading the dough is just such bloody hard work, so I can now knead, chop, blend and grate to my hearts content, there is no recipe I can't tackle, so bring it on James - well that is apart from a deep fat fryer. The problem here is that Mrs Riley has decided that we are running out of worktop space for all the gadgets. Never one to turn down a challenge I'm now planning a full kitchen refit to accommodate this absolutely must have piece of equipment! 

At the end of the summer we welcomed five chickens into the family, I find it very therapeutic to watch them strolling round the garden and we have had a plentiful supply of eggs. I'd read and heard about the devastation chickens can do to your garden, but how much damage can five chickens do? Well, I should have listened, our lovely garden has been turned into what looks like a war zone, the grass has gone, plants have been pulled out shrubs stripped of any greenery and pots overturned,  I wouldn't have thought it possible that five chickens could do so much damage. The irony is that I had been procrastinating about buying a lawn scurifier for a while, as I wanted to get all the dead grass and weeds out of the lawn, so in the spring I treated myself, I now realise that I didn't need to spend £150 I just needed a couple of £10 chickens to do the job. 

I've never named the chickens, it's not through any desire to keep a psychological detachment from them, as I've no intention of chucking them in the pot at some point in the future, its just something I've never got round to. However I have loosely named one of them Oscar the Chicken, this is because, a bit like Oscar the Dog when I go outside (into the battlefield) she just follows me everywhere, there is definitely a bit of competition between dog and chicken. Like most animals the chickens have become familiar with routines and sounds especially if it is something to do with food. Bang the plastic corn container a couple of times when their favourite treat is out, and they appear from nowhere usually at great speed. I hadn't realised just how fast chickens run, they can really motor if they have to. One of the funniest things I've seen in a long time was the two Oscar's appearing round the corner of the house, racing each other to get to the food. Oscar the Chicken, surprisingly held her own over the short distance, that was until she didn't spot the unfurled hosepipe laying across the path. As she tripped over the hose at full speed there was such a kerfuffle and commotion, feathers everywhere, Oscar the Dog just stood there, I'd say he had a smirk on his face with a look in his eyes as much as to say 'that'll teach you, I'm the boss round here!'

Apart from my family and Oscar the Dog, oh and of course the chickens, I guess I have three passions in my life. Walking, Real Ale and Sheffield Wednesday. Following Wednesday was once described to me as like watching a Shakespearean tragedy. All the elements are there, a central character in the Chairman, with a flawed personality that appears to be in self destruct mode, ultimately you know this will lead to an unhappy or disastrous ending for either him or the club. There is a breakdown of trust between the Chairman and the fans leading to a dichotomy of opposing views about what is right for the club, is the chairman hero or villain. Throw in a touch of greed and it leaves a real sense of fate and destiny about where we are heading. We must be the only club that has so much money we just don't know what to do with it. The Chairman has invested heavily but without any apparent strategy and this has led to a gradual deterioration over the years he has been in charge. We have slipped from the verge of the premier league as play off finalists to relegation contenders in the current season. In fact the only advance I've seen in recent years is an increase in the ticket prices which sits uncomfortably with the decline both on and off the pitch.

With the problems at Hillsborough I'd usually indulge in my second passion and drown my football sorrows by drinking proper cask ale. However with the pubs closed and  Boris putting an end to the the collect from pub option at the beginning of the latest lock down, I'm having to make the best of bottled beers. There is a great selection of bottled beer available these days but it's not quite the same. I have missed visiting the pub more than anything else during lock down. It's not just the real ale  but the social interaction as well. I can't wait for the pubs to re open but when they do, beware locals at the White Horse, I may well have two Oscar's in tow when I pop in for a pint. 

So that just leaves walking, I have been able to get outside and enjoy some of the beautiful open countryside in the area where I live. If I'm not legging it after Oscar (the Dog) who has spotted a rabbit in the far distance, it's so relaxing and somehow it just helps put things into perspective, even events at Hillsborough! This leads me on to my latest project which is to walk the 130 mile South Kesteven Round. It's taking me much longer to complete the walk than I originally anticipated mainly due to restrictions as part of Covid lock downs, but I am making good progress and hope to complete the walk in the spring. 

The walk was originally created and a book produced in 2005, unfortunately the book is now out of print, but with kind permission of the author Robert Brownlow, I am creating a website of the walk to enable everyone to have access to the Round and hopefully discover more about the area in which we live. The area is steeped in history and alongside the walking I've really enjoyed finding out more about the people places and events that have shaped South Kesteven into what it is today.

So watch out for my new blog series which will tell the story of discovering the South Kesteven Round, the trials and tribulations of not only completing the walk but also creating a website. I've made lots of friends in India from multiple support lines as I have tried to assign my new walk domain name to my website. I can honestly say that it's more confusing than deciding what to watch on TV in an evening.

So I hope you enjoy the new blog series and hopefully in the spring the opportunity to walk this fantastic South Kesteven Round, assuming of course my computer hasn't been thrown out of the window by then.

Take care, watch out for any stray hosepipes and remember to Cover your face, Wash your hands and get your Jab, so we can all get out if this mess as soon as possible.

If you have enjoyed reading this blog, you can find more at my Coronaseries Home Page or you can find more about my walks and other blogs at my Home Page. If you have any comments, it would be lovely to hear from you please leave them in the box below. If you receive notification of my blog by email you will need to click through to the blog page to leave a comment.